Okej I didn’t sleep good at all last night. It took very long time for me to fall asleep and when I finally did I slept for like 30 minutes and woke up with terrible pain and panic. Panic because I feel like completely exploding but I can’t empty myself because I’m already empty. I tried to relax and forget about it but after an hour I woke up Tony and we watched funny video clips on TV about animals. I fell asleep in his arms and woke up 3 hours later feeling like throwing up. Tony’s mom was up so I did my best to keep myself and after a lot of deep breaths I felt better and fell asleep again. Tony woke me up around 10 and asked for a urine test so he could go and leave it at the laboratory. He did and he also went with his mom to buy medication for me to be able to pee. The pills are for stabilizing stomach a bit and taking pain away and the side effect of the pills is peeing and they helped at least a bit. Tony ate lunch alone out because I again started to feel like throwing up. I felt really bad about letting him eat lonely so I decided to go out to him. At the same time as I thought of it I had to run to the bathroom and I threw up all over Tony’s parents’ bathroom. Guess if I felt ashamed!! When I finished I sat down on the floor for a while before I tried to get u to clean myself and everything. I was very dizzy and couldn’t get up so I texted and missed call Tony and told him and asked him to come and help me. He half ran to the bathroom and took really good care of me. I know he always take care of me whatever it is but you know, this feeling and moment is nothing you want to share with anyone if you really don’t have to as I did now. Tony showered me and after it we went to be. He hugged me tight and made me feel really safe. After the bathroom incident I felt better but not good at all. When we woke up I was able to eat some boiled potato and we fixed the laundry Tony made and after it we went home and here we are now. I’m going to take one more shower and after it I will sleep. Thank you for reading this very interesting and cozy post. Haha. I will try to write a better one next time. Bye for now.

 

~WITH LOVE * Alva~